Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Ride Challenge Now Has An Incentive Been Canceled

UPDATE: No one has bitten on this, and it's been months. I'm gonna donate the netbook (and a helmet) to the raffle prize pool for the 2012 Blue vs. Grey Rally, instead. Sorry, suckas... you had your chance!

Look. The weather's awesomesauce. I've been asking you dorks to go find the best rides in the Nashville area since whenever. I did my part, and as much as I love the ride I found, I'd rather grasp my uvula with rusty meat tongs than to have someone suggest that ride the next time we're trying to put a last-minute ride together on a nice Sunday afternoon. I CRAVE NEWNESS.

Now, you're not on your own. I gave you pointers. There are the tools. Don't have 'em, wanna borrow 'em?  We can talk about that. You people!  Take, take, take!  But this is for The Greater Good. Remember what Spock said to Dr. McCoy in Star Trek IX?  Me neither, but fuck all that -- Spock wasn't giving away a netbook, and Nimoy bailed WAY before Star Trek IX, so fuck him, too.

So, here's what's on the line... a nearly-new Asus Eee PC 900 netbook computer, pre-loaded with Ubuntu Linux, the easiest, lightest, sweetest OS on the planet*. If you ever wanted the perfect lightweight net-surfing device that has an actual keyboard, this here's okay for all that. It'd put men on Mars, if our Mars program started in 1982. That's just how badass it is. Hey!  I see you over there, snickering with your iPhone or your Android... yeah, what is your WPM on that shitty little touchscreen, again?  Yeah, sit down, shut up. We're talkin', here.

The Deal: Feed me a Google Map of your best ride starting in Davidson County, TN, and going as far as any of the counties contiguous to Davidson County, TN, before midnight, 5/15/2012, and you get an entry to win this fabulous Asus netbook!  Arrange to take me on the ride you submitted before 5/1/2012, and you get two entries to win the fabulous Asus netbook!  Final determination has nothing to do with how many entries you have, though... I have to ride the ride, and my judgement of HOW frappinglicious it is is FINAL, as I own the fabulous Asus netbook, and I'm not giving it to someone who half-ass rides me around 2nd Avenue.


* For certain values of "easiest," "lightest" and "sweetest."

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